Sunday, January 21, 2007

Need For Speed: Carbon. Exotics.

Current song listening to:
Ladytron - Fighting in Built Up Areas

Porsche Carrera GT.
Aston Martin DB9
Ford GT
Mercedes-Benz CLK 500 (need for speed: most wanted)
Mercedes-Benz McLaren SLR
Lamborghini Murcielago
Gold on one side,

with a cheebye ah beng dragon vinyl on the other..






thats about it for the Exotics.
tuners and muscle soon..

midnight picnic

current song listening to:
Mandy Moore - Only Hope
Mandy Moore - A Walk To Remember
Mandy Moore - Cry
Mandy Moore - Crush
Mandy Moore - Walk With Me Home
Mandy Moore - Have A Little Faith in Me

so, as you can tell by whats im currently listening to, i am so in the fuckin mood to rant. try my best to like lighten up

Well, went fishing just now, the whole trip was so fucked, i had rainwater (rain is comin down from the rooftop! he's here in singapore.. woot! any bounty hunter or assassin here want an assignment?) all over my fucken self. got shitty catches, bike fucked up in the middle of journey back home and i was cursed with various kind of mishap.


and also not forgetting to mention that it was so damn:

(click to zoom)

a 3-man supper meal. supposedly..
the twix also include this lace ace thingy..
note the sub header:

"Get moving, play football and look cool!"

really?! wow.. im so gonna wear that when i goin orchard later. boy, i'll be looking so damn cool. then ill get laid or something after that..

the Fa Ka Bo Cheese Flavour Cracker..
i really dont know why, but i find the name of that Fa Ka Bo cracker amusing. theres also a ring to it.
Fakabo!!

wah lao!
fuck ar.. bo cracker!
-.-' twat

vitasoy taro soya bean milk.


i always thought, lays potato chips never had an update for their flavor/taste of chips.
i only thought that they had

new addition of flavors:
mexican tomato chicken flavor

they also have:
baby tomato flavor
french chicken flavor
american salted chicken flavor
and more..

damnit, cant decide which one's the right spelling:
flavour / flavor?
i also remember that one is american spelling, while another is british. but forgot which/

well, who fuckin' cares.. im feelin dope cool. knawm'sayin'? in this case, ill stick to tha gangsta spellin'.. its so universal, virtually anyone can understand them..
spell: flava

but anyways, nothing beats,

best flava:
cucumber flava.
a sleeping fat cheebye laid on a hammock.
another 'harmful effect of cigarettes' example. note that right hand. he was holding on to his pack of cigarettes when falling asleep. assuring therees no fucking way that anyone could steal any stick from his pack. paranoia.


italian red meat flavor.. = beef

oh, i forgot to mention.. that fat guy is a vegetarian
so he spat everything in his mouth and started to get angsty. shortly after that, he went nuts..

he got really pissed..

then he went:


BUEY SONG!!
behold!! THE FURY OF THE GREAT FAT CHEEBYE!!


the BEST catch of the day:


cool..
.


.


.











it was some real shitbag..

Friday, January 19, 2007

dayung sampan....

current songs listening to:
Bjork - One Day
Shichishoku - Blue Sky


fast post, fast post, ill make this a chop chop.
whart a week it was.. hahaha
today, theres like tuition and blessing or something today, but yeah, gonna have fun, oh and laters, imma head to the hub, and hub to the head. and after that, surely theres an event no doubt..
okay okay, so recently theres alot of highlights, but yeah, yesterday's football match was some major shit.
hahaha, so yeah, a riot almost broke out.
the indonesians were pissed that our section of singaporeans sang the dayung dayung sampan song after they lost.. lol.

the soccer match. it was a thrash-fest, but the indonesian team was tenacious.
young lions were literally awesome. the combination of some trained foreign talents and mats with their regular under-the-void-deck-soccer practices shows the nation, glorifing results..
well, so the indonesians score.. . note the peoples sitting down: they are all singaporeans.
those peoples were behaving in some kinda weird manner. and i almost thought that im in some kinda mass church function, u know? those kinda service where theres like fanatic preaches, people goes wild and nuts praying hyperactively and speak in tongues.. and im seriously convinced because their loud alien-like language sure do sound like they exactly were doing just that..

score was 2-2. and singapore gets into the semi-finals.. too bad indo score

see that hairy leg?
thats not a ghost, thats an actual life-sized skinny fella standing on top of a newspaper holder above a 15" bicycle rims, and in front of him, another skinny guy cycling it..
this goes on for like at least 10 km of Singapore road.

took a long ass trip around singapore and then we went rochorbeancurd..
eavesdropped a nearby table filled with indonesians.
some dude lost a $400 bet on that match, bah, he wasnt all pissed and all. besides, those peoples are some affluent kind.. their abundance of cash is like water..


oh, and my loopid sister was killin me to post this pic on my blog.. dunno why. looks like power ranger thingy and some kinda bimbo allegiance for global domination


and today, channel 5, the american idol was so fucken funny.

dontchawishyagirlfriendwashotlikeme woman was so damn hilarious, i almost crapped through my dick.

when we come back:
kinda lengthy upcoming post and more pics including most of my fast pussymagnets..

seacrest, out..

(UPDATE)

FUCK!! i got work today..

which means i cant save the royal ass and see kevin's masterpieces in the hub

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

so you think you're twee like me? far out!

Currently listening to:
Our Lady Peace - Innocent
Gary Numan - Are 'Friends' Electric



so yeah.. sorry big big for the hiatus, its been like days since i last blogged. actually, ive signed in blogger for like countless times, but yeah, none makes the cut into posting.
its the quality, not quantity, peoples.. knawm'sayin? so yeah, was busy and hardly went online, if so, ill be appearing offline in msn and write drafts in blogger, and im trying my best ehre to post as frequent as possible.. Honest.
oh and yea, im like 'educated' all thanks to the job im having right now.. like literally. so prolly, ill apoplogise if you see alot of 'mispronounciated' words, all thanks to my, neh-my.. i esplain later.
i was busy with work, and so should you readers too, we are in the midst of a busy january.. so, peoples like me, we gotta work our ass off straight till a promotional glory. and to the pitiful little punks out there, better pay thorough attention and stiffen the priority to your studies in school.
but for some reason, its january, i dont think you have to learn much.. what do we learn in school last year's january? i forgot.. well who cares.
so slacken the educational noose around your necks. you wont die because i think complacency sometimes has good points.
but from the experience of most of my seriously successful friends, consistency rules the school.

was working the past few days, and as i said, i was 'educated'.. like as in influenced or soemthing..
ive started to have this accent after just working recently.

and the dominant race of the workforce population were the malaysian chinese. 80%. that explains all. i was speaking like im one of them and added Beyond to my playlist. lol. diu lei lomo.. i had alot of fun there. its also because the uniform is so damn detailed, opulent, spiffy and trust me,
it looked so damn cool, at some point i almost thought that i was in the set for a 'Curse Of The Golden Flower' shoot.
wouldnt mind having the similar design for my school uniform.. oh oh oh yeah! there was this chic, her name is Samantha.. she was like.. hot. damn it.
i think all Samntha's are hot in many ways.. some ways at least. and yeah..
we got more expected perks from the compensations the non-inclusive of CPF and all so yeah...
overally, the job experience was RAD, and a particular one that was so bad. as having a sissyfit over the matter, im so in the fuckin' mood to tell it now.
so then theres this 'new' supervisor thats was so ____(your worst vulgar language here)___-ed, i was so bewildered and appaled over the matter.
she was giving me this FATTITUDE (oh yeah, shes fat, and was giving me a fucking attitude)..
as i was doing my routine work, i came up to her asking an advice, and she said some crap and and slapped my shoulders.
how dare she lay her fat fingers on my smooth and silky shoulders!

we singaporeans dont believe in resorting to physical and corporal punishment on our fellow peoples, if we were to encounter disagreement, as we think its something not good. in fact, ill do what other singaporeans would do, i will comprain!
comprain dammit. comprain!

to your supervisor(cant think of any other designation higher than that, and manager seems too vague as there is too many of them, so supervisor's supervisor it is),
and in my blog.. because im not being chickenshit (despite being influenced by numerous of your peoples there) to say it in your face..

oh yea, get ready to sleep.


Dear Mr/Mrs/Mdm/Miss Supervisor's supervisor of mine.,

On the week before this, I was assigned to you into your station as it is my job as a part-time worker in ________house .
It is my sincerest hope that your enjoyed herself scolding me and that I for my own part was a gracious trainee.
However, I am disquieted to confess that I have not prepared this correspondence in good temper. Quite on the contrary, my message is one of disappointment and admonishment.
You see, in the following night at the workplace, I was alarmed to discover myself in a scene of no small horror laid out in the boiler room.
The Supervisor you appointed for me were indeed too forceful in rectifying my mistake of the task fulfillment.
Certainly you can understand my reaction of considerable angry, for I am no savage, and prefer not to encounter such physical violence to myself nor from anyone else, if indeed it is possible. As such, I found your appointed supervisor actions at me to be quite disagreeable.
Please, Supervisor's Supervisor, do not think me brutish for my words: I fully comprehend the rather fragile predicament
you must certainly have found yourself ensnared in that fateful night, and hold great sympathy for it, as it is your career
to rely the in-charge of others..
The intake of blows I recieved on my shoulders might be considered normal or understandable or appropriate on any other of her similar counterpart or
of any lesser beings also with lesser knowledge of modern morality, behavior and ethics.
I will confess that on certain tutoring sessions even I have been known to act in poor conduct and judgement and indulge myself too on my different kinds of my many students(some of the many evidence cum victim: Royalass = Art, Saufi= Maths),
and I have on those occasions found myself feeling quite angry as a result. Undoubtedly this was the case for your employee's action to me last week, and for that you have my sympathies. However, I must take issue with her choice of trainee to unleash physical violence.

Customarily, one who is overcome with disagreement or disappointment does so through speaking with the subject over the matter,as it is by its nature to our peoples here, for settling things matters in a diplomatic manner. Had you merely repositioned your fingers stationary when emptying your thought, and flushed the results, I doubt with great sincerity that I would presently be inclined to exchange words with you.

I don't know that I made a mistake, as at least it was a logical idea when i 'blatantly' approached my supervisor for her advise on my task at hand,
only to know later that I was physically punished for my "wrongdoing".
All I can be certain of is that you beat the shit out of my shoulders. From the looks of it, a sweat covered and fat-laden palms, possibly
with 30kN of force downwards, sequential to her lashes of words, and terrifying staredowns resulting me to horror and at that time, replying only: Oh, Okay, Sorry,
as that was the only universally known words that she could decipher and figure. It appears also that my supervisor at least made a passing attempt to not rain blows at my in front of any other Singaporeans, as making me a bully trophy to her succession in a pattern suggesting showing them that I suffered my "consequences".

While I appreciate this, I would have preferred a great deal more effort be invested in the attempt to just say, as the unenviable burden of erasing that event subsequently fell squarely upon my mind. I should also note that the
unpleasant event was similar into having a sack full of shaved sweaty vermins such as hamsters or rats poured 2-metres over your shoulders.
Although awe-inspiring, would fail to equal the uniquely unbearable
which hailed from the front side your arms and took unwelcome temporary residence on my shoulders.

In closing, Supervisor's Supervisor, I hope that this letter finds you, and causes you to rethink your choice of
supervisor employee if ever again you find me working on any particular day.
The shoulders or any part of any man is a poor location for violence and any persons who think otherwise are quite unwelcome. I still dont understand Cantonese and accent-laden-mere-inaudible-severely-broken English
but should I learn it, I would be strongly inclined to shake my finger at you and say it to you in your language, "for shame!"

With regards,

The Sexydragon





and as for:

(as an adjudicator in behalf of mens, due to the fact that your bodily feature and proportions of great shapeliness and symetry
ill greatly assume that you're a)
MISS supervisor, well if you happened to read this post (which i really dont expect you reading it), i expect a reply tag from you as which in my preference of an apology, i demand you typing:

thats a wrathful, yet eloquent correspondence. a model of restraint, sir.. i am sorry.

lol.. whatever. WOOT.. finally! its off my head!!
on a lighter note,speaking about 'educated', heres from like yijun or someone else i forgot. too many peoples in the head.

person: hehe, eh, wanna ask ar.. why you alot of monkshillians so bhb (thick-skinned) one?
me: orh, no lar.. its not bhb, its called telling the truth.
person: lol. so bhb. no wonder all go bhss..


lol.in fact, i think that person was converted thick-skinned like us monkshillians shortly after this conversation ends.
all thanks to the mental terror thru conversation from peeps like ron, sam, me or any monkshillians.


oh, and after work, it was 1.30 AM, the public buses and trains ceased their service for the day, and i missed the given transport bus from the workplace, i walked my ass all the way from Esplanade-Millenia Walk to back home, Novena. i swear that Sony-Ericsson tv advert was all in my head.

I (sony ericsson logo) missing the last bus.

Lucky enough, to have my music player companion beside me and happened to meet couple of
monkshillian big sisters in CHIJMES dead drunk. stayed there for quite a while,
they were having somekinda farewell thingy goin on. also, i acquired someone after that to keep me company as i walk my ass home.
suay suay, it was my ex. -.-"
and she said she wanna work there also. sent her ass home in Lavender and it was iPod all the way home..

got home at like 3-4AM. head went all downhill from there..

so beside being busy with work, i was busy with play:

a 6-hour marathon in front alot of dé piao, dé piao, dé yi de piao's, i finally completed that game.
after completing that, i was so sastified. yeah, sastified.
se-lious-ly. ohkay, gotta stop with that already. besides my satisfaction to my great accomplishment, the game kinda like gave me this kinda euphoria. after 5-straight hours of gaming, i was hallucinating while i was taking an interval for a dump.. the toilet bowl looks like a racing seat. everytime i release one, i pictured my ass an exhaust pipe. and the fumes were, you know what. boy, i tell ya. it was space shuttle just now.

the game is so fast and furious tokyo drift lar.. everything.. the characters, tuner and musclecars, canyon drifting. well i think the drift racing hype is getting out of hand..
im looking something else in future from the creative department of racing games in EA,
but drifting is fun nonetheless.. i dun think its gonna be a fad for like sometime.
5/5 stars. you'll play this for like daily.
ill upload pics of my ninja-fast pussymagnets in the next post or so..

err. okay, i think i gotta settle with last friday. went jssc,

was at home, and Han Ji Peng called me to come over quick, said that something fucked up and that Syirr was kidnapped or something. i forgot.
well i went there, with a near Superman get-up and waht i see:
it was quiet and tranquil as a nuthouse.


playing pool. why go parklane when you can play here for free? can wear school Uni summore.
everthings so relaxed people watching Naked Mile, another American Pie series.
the projector shows a part of steamy scene of the movie.
oh, and that person behind the door
busy with her studies.
*cough* nerd! *cough*..

OH OH OH!! and after that, we had a brutal pillow war. i think its because the show ended and someone got really bored and went looking for sonme danger.
and everone started to throw things at each other. come cushion, doggy, plushies and spongebob, they were flying all over the place.
it was pillow war, as it was faaar from a simple fight. it was beyond chaotic and the furious factor met the likes of protest in Indonesia..
sofa barricade, pillows everywhere, erica and julynn came at like a bad timing. many pillowed, taupok-ed and died.

after everyone went home, i went PS with Syirr to meet her friends and all, oh yea, she was like so. omg.. lol.
yeyeyeyeyeyeh???



then went to Brandons Chalet, friday night! supposed to be in some kinda club and get laid or something, but theres no other transport to bring my ass from Pasir Ris all the way to Clark Quay.
well another problem was getting myself to Costa Sands Pasir Ris.
went to downtown east and i was so fucken lost. then i flagged a cab. and the driver was very angsty, he drove me down 100m, and im like, okay? so yea. 2.60 down the drain..
i was so lost until out of no fucking where, i met Shuib. donno where the hell eh came from also, well he gave me an elaborate direction to the chalet, and i found myself in a gay house~!
i mean gay, as in the other meaning.. happy. well, had alot of fun witht he guys there.
Gabriel Bong brought me to the Temple of the Bong.. hahaaha...
we played the cardgame called Cheat, and also, played man games such as which name a chic with big tits.
if you fail to name one, down a cupful of drinks. simple? no its not!
i said, Joveina twice, and i had to down a 1.5 litre bottle of Sprite.
had fun peeing after that.. sugar after-effects and all.

the white Playstation. Playstation 3 if im not wrong, lol.. im so lost with gaming technology nowadays.
oh yea, never challenge me need for speed (any kind) with my dominator glasses on.
probably without it, ill be merciful, but once i wear them, you're so owned..
lol.. the Dominator Glasses. tell you more about it next time.


okay, so the apple iPhone is unquestionably the sexiest gadget ever created,
makes all other phones burst into flames and dissolve into dust merely by looking at them.
i imagine just holding one of those things envokes the exact same sensation as laying in satin sheets,
naked, playing dota on a 108-inch plasma screen in the company of two naked victoria's secret models,
one feeding me grapes and the other pleasuring me in ways unspoken of since roman times.
already my "top of the line" nokia feels like a clunky plastic turd.
but while everyone oogles that gorgeous phone, i'd like to highlight the second most
incredible just-announced geek-chic gizmo in as many days. have you ever found yourself thinking
"gee, i wish my dvd player would physically roll around, and beep at me angrily," or
"why doesn't my remote control look more like a spaceship?" i know i have, and thankfully,
now some saint amongst men has finally answered my prayers. ladies and gentlemen,
the beeping, rolling, utterly frivolous and utterly awesome: R2-D2 DVD PROJECTOR!
it's so cool it makes my brain hurt.
and trust me boys, chicks totally dig it.
your date's panties will drop like a hot brick when she sees you using the millenium falcon to
play movies from a plastic astromech droid. oh, and just using the word "astromech" will drive her totally wild.
explain to her the difference between astromech droids and protocol droids,
and you'd better have a whole box of condoms ready to go.


oh, i almost forgot, i wanna change the entry music for my blog.. prolly some songs i loike or somethin. right now, my sister is killing me with her "to the left, to the lefts".

so yea, to save you from further misery scrolling down my blog, till then, bye bye cheebye.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

the first ever annual japaneselumberyardhell 2006 award

im so fucken free right now.

Achievements and awards to peoples and stuffus featured on blog:

and its a good thing if you're (not) featured/ recieved any award from me. so ladies and gents, brace yourself for japaneselumberyardhell's:

THE BEST OF:

ENTERTAINMENT:

shitty-est movie:
Basic Instinct 2

cool ass movie award:
Curse of the Golden Flower

comedy:
Talking Cock by Colin Goh

movie of the year:
The Banquet

tv series:
Grey's Anatomy

best comedy:
The Office

cartoon series that still kicked ass:
The Simpsons

worst cartoon:
Naruto

worst movie award:
High School Musical

worst drama:
The Princess Hour (Goong) .

worst tv program:
Lost (a disappointment)

best comedian:
Will Farrell

worst actor:
Tom Hanks (because none of the chicks he's with ever gets naked)

best actress:
Jodie Foster (cold as a mother)

worst actress:
Katie Holmes


MUSIC


shittiest band:
Simple Plan

2006's best band:
+44

Best Singer:
Press F5. Now.

2006's tha' dopest rhyme, of all time:
Beat Novacane - Fat Joe

its like the most awesome and raddest song of the year, dude:
Call Me When Your Sober - Evanescence

best cina song:
許願池的希臘少女 - Jolin Tsai
(wu niang was good but this one was the best and yes, my pinyin kicks ass)

best malay song:
none.

5 of the Year's most annoying songs:

Hips Don't Lie - Shakira
Nothing in this World - Paris Hilton
Public Affair - Jessica Simpsons
Where'd You Go - Fort Minor
Tokyo Drift - Teriyaki Boyz

(all of this songs were played countless times in radio, MTV and everywhere)


The No.1 Superemo Song
Ghost of You - My Chemical Romance

2006's Anthem:
Sexy Back - Justin Timberlake


THE NET

Best Website:
That blog

Most killer website:
www.youtube.com

Worst YouTube videos:
Hard Gay (hes not funny. at all)

Lamest and least funniest video:
The Numa Numa by Gary Brosma (steaming pile of lame sauce)

best online game:
Halo 2 (Xbox Live)

shitty-est online game ever:
Maple Story (no life)

LIFESTYLE:

best car award:
2006 Mercedes-Benz CLS55 AMG,(really fast, pussy-magnet, first car to feature 7-shift, good-lookin, 4-seater, fat people can't fit in the driver's seat. worthy)

best restaurant:
Aurum (clinically swanky as fuck)

best food:
Grilled Chicken Foldover (cheap, healthy, filling and taste that kicks ass)


coolest funeral:
Pluto

uncool-est funeral:
Steve Irwin

The Face of the Year:

get used to the almost-like-kena-down-syndrome-but-actually-hor-its-chic-as-hell-sia face, as more of these could be seen in future neoprints sample stands..

Best Camp:
CampTEEN

The Are-you-shitting-me?-You're-gonna-wear that? Apparel Award:
Crocs.

the worst birthday gift, like ever.:
its a good thing to have classmates that understands what you 'like'.

BOOKS

best non-fiction:
Possible Side Effects by Augusten Burrough


kickin ass book award:
Beavis and Butt-head's Reading Sucks, the collected works. by Mike Judge

the book of the year:
comes with the author's signature on the cover.


The Rhyme of the Year:
"/oh, daphne, your not feelin real happy,
well yeah, here's $1.50, go get me a slurpee."


Best Proverb:
Friends are like condoms. They protect us when things get hard.
- Edmund the Great


Best Class Academical Achievement:


my class. as you can see thats a looong row of F9's. we are so gonna be successful peoples. (fyi: this is no bullshit or some orchestrated shit. thats the actual grades that my class achieved for Maths paper during Prelims last year.)
(picture credits to tiffanie)


The Nationwide Favourite Racist Joke:
Question: How do you make an Indian man explode?
Answer: Press the red button.
(hahaha,reminded me of the laser pointer on Mdm Lala's forehead incident)


Worst Makeover Anyone Could Ever Attempt:
Eyebrow Threading (i found this link which contains an elusive pic of me with that.. see disastrous effect)

Best Makeover that Anyone Can Attempt:
Shaving the armpits.

CHICS


Most Hardcore and Underground:
Syirr

Least Hardcore and Most Changed:
Madjidah Sunny

Hottest Chic:
Tiffanie Ho

Most difficult person to argue with:
Tiffanie Ho

The Coolest Smile:
Shan

Slowest Girl:
Lai Yi Jun

The Fastest Girl:
Timothy (9 mins for 2.4km)

Sexy-est Voice:
Nicki Chua

Best Actress (drama category):
Low Joveina

The Razorblade Award:
Abigail Kor

The Bimbo Superchamp Trophy:
Nada Syazwani (heavily debated, it was a close fight between Princess Glamorous, but waniee's blog deserves the cute glittery pink trophy)


Best Dressed:
Elissa Nadine.
(goth as fuck, pentagram necklace, skull rings, spike-studded belts, leather straps and black lipstick. Satan.)


DUDES


Greatest health improvement:
Christopher Gomez (10-15 kg loss in a span of few months)

The Fattest Cheebye:
Edmund the 'Great'. 120kg.

Most time spent in computer playing online games(only):
Jonathan Teo aka Gen X Kid.

The Blackest Hardcore Death Metal Junkie Award:
Ben Kheo (Iron Maiden, Satyricon, Dimmu Borgir, Children of Bodom, 'nuff said.)

Si Buay Ah Gua Award:
Mr. NLL

Handsome-est Man Award:
Christy Lee

Most Girlfriends:
Ng Zhi Shin (countless)

Least Girlfriends:
Lim Jun Xian(handful)

Syphillis Champ:
Kevin Ling (determined by per square inch)


ASS(ES)


Most widely known as a cute:
Samantha Tham

Owns the sexiest pair of:
Julynn Goh

Largest and Most visible:
Timothy Tan


Most number of time being called one:
Evonne Chng



BLOG (get ready to roll them eyeballs)



Best month:
January 2006 (ironicly. it contains the chinese new year mega prank and ancient stuff)



Best picture:
titled: The Victory Pee.
medium: photography, props used: Lemon Sportade

random ego booster:
10 April 2006

Most violent rant:
12 April 2006(presence of pure agony,lashing of certain levels of sarcasm, complete with picture elaboration)

Best post:
20 May 2006 (was when i first established the tagboard. self explanatory, nostalgic, clean cut and simple)


out of awards to think of, too engrossed reading kickass past.