MAT MAN:
his ability: to make any and everything look tight
his main weakness: soccer balls
mat man lurks in the darkness, waiting for evil doers and people who don't believe in tapperism
...well mostly the latter.
he's hot, he's sexy, he's single,
he's MAT MAN
with the strength of twenty andrew vass-es his unusually thick skin enables him to go on stage and scratch his nuts in front of the millions AND MILLIONS of mat man's fans
his infectious laughter is his weapon of choice
don't get caught in his web of racist jokes for he is mat man:
protector of every man woman and child. well just the women.
his lightning fast moves will amaze you. he'll run round the world twice and not break a sweat. he's soo fast that you won't see him moving at all!
too fast for the eye to capture
he's stupendous.
he's amazing.
he's spectacular.
he's mat man!
when he's not protecting the world from anti tapperists, mat man dwells in his lair, waiting for the perfect chance to strike.
His lair, also known as the void deck, accepts trainees and eager beavers willing to take up the call of the mat,
training to be mat men and mat women,
perfecting their anti soccer techniques,
MAT NAK YOU
MAT WANT LU!!!
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