specific

i have never done anything for anybody who couldn't do something for me. i string along my frens with promises. i will treat them with money and i only keep them around because i wan them to look up to me. i lie in person and on the phone.
i lie to my friends. i lie to people, who sell my lies to more and more people. i am just a part of a big cycle of lies, i tink i should be fuckin president.
i think i need my clothes and my watch. my 500 dollar watch is a fake and so am i. ive neglected things i should haf valued most. i valued this shit.
i take off my egg to call her. don't blame her. i never told her i liked someone still. and if i did she would have told me to go back.
Purpeen, talking to you in msn at you now, im ashamed of myself. alright? i mean, work so hard on this image, on Salihin Jaafar, the asshole who refers to himself in the "sexy-fucking-dragon" that i only proved i should be alone.
i have just been dressing up as something im not for so long, im so afraid no one will like whats really underneath. but here i am, just flesh and blood and weakness, and uh and I love you so fucking much. and, um, i take off the egg because it only reminds me of how ive failed you, and i don't. don't want to give you up. i want to make things better, but it may not be my choice anymore.