its just Pavlovian

Currently listening to:
T.I. - Bring 'em Out
Dead Eye Dick - New Age Girl


holy shit man.. im feelin the vibe man.. the old vibe. as in the pre/post-millenium musics. fuh-reakin awesome.. im diggin this! ya knum sayin? bring 'em out. i love that shit.
ooh, wasnt being progressive for the past few days, couch potatoed for the past days.. its either in the hall watching Discovery Channel Travel and Living, Miami Ink or shit like that or in the office (my room) to do some unprogressive stuffs

i just want to get out of this daily cycle.. i believe that life is like a game, and someway or somehow, for anything, theres a cheat to it. and an alternative is crime, which involves resorting to steal, con or fuck somebody up to get a benefit for myself, but im really not looking forward to do something that. in fact, i hate doing anything related to crime, it just vexes me.i just want a cheat-code to life. something supernatural.or maybe the existance of its like ghost have something to do with that, and i find ghost is some kinda undiscovered resource. like before benjamin franklins discovered lightning and till now, its utilised electricity and technological development rose from that.. same goes for ghosts, just that its kinda like in crude form, and something not harnessed to its usefulness to mankind. yet.

uh.. what the hell did i wrote just now. i dunno, i dun care and yeah, my aunt last week during the gathering said that i have an undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD/ADD.. i shit you not, literally man and at first i didnt know whats that, until i found out what it was when i went to wiki-ed it. behavioural-wise, i matched everything in that.. hyperlexia, slight attention disorder, muffled voice, a problem with sarcasm, 'too honest', almost never doled out any appraisal to anyone, extreme stubborn-ness, and ego-centric... but since when am i great at maths? i dont know, but people says that anyone with that tends to be VERY good at something. i just cant find mine. she was yapping about me something regarding sugar and serious hyperactivity withdrawals where i get all excited and stuff. bah, shit like that never happened to me. right guys?

yummy! gummy! gelatine i loike!

hahaha..oh, yea, my mum seems to nag alot nag alot nowadays (shes doing that now). and God forbid, one of this days, she'll head for an early dementia. lol. but, senility is fun.

they say, the older you get, the longer your speeches.

damn it, i love writing lengthy essay-like post. which i admit is kind of fun compared to bombarding my blogspace with gay(happy) pictures. theres nothing much to it. its like a fact: a person could completely read/finish a comic book faster than a storybook. same shit happens here for you readers (yea, im mentioning you punk).. longer the person stay in my blog, the longer they'll have to bear with the music in my imeem playlist. unless you're despicable enough to turn it off and prefer the solace of muteness.

and imeem kicks ass. i dont know if i mentioned this before, but i fucking loved it. its like audio-version of Youtube, which apparently is a demonchild of the internet. i love imeem. if i own a pet soon, like say, a cat or a rabbit, ill name it imeem. because the idea of having imeem.com attached to anything is just simply fucking brilliant.
but anyways, back to matter regarding my blog posting, the problem with having a lenghty post is that most of my friends which posseses kid-like mentality (we are talking 17 year olds here) would get bored easily and whine. hard.(hint hint) and yeah, another problem is that ill have a tendency to get completely out of point, which reasons to results for my english paper in 'O's, and defined the epitomy of 'lengthy'. okay okay.. i spent an awesome 7-fuckin-pages for composition. i shit you not. that means, 4 pieces of fullscap paper and three of which is covered with handwritten pen ink, both sides and one with only one page partially complete. surpassing neighbouring people's compositions, where measly 2 papers were used, with words well-distributed spaced out to compensate the little amount of words written. try to be safe and simple. minimalist? less is more? excuses. well, i like the fact that everyone elses essays' just vaginal fart compared to mine.
and if you step into my mind, i always picture A4 papers as mens (many peoples find this weird when i told them this, i dont know why) and it was like i tattoo-ed 4 mens. intricately designed.

so, at first thought, its 'O' levels, why not blast everything in my vocabulary arsenal. one of my favourite selections' always located in 'tha cheem-ass shit' section. it contains the bombs of the bombastics where dementedly profound shits like: ostentatious, anaemic, vagaries of perception, eloquent, mobius strip of irony, tittilating, fey, convulsive, incessant, vermin, paradigm, dervish, incontinent.. shits that was so far out, and for that day, i unlocked that chamber and i was unleashing them on my composition through my ball-point pen without a sign of mercy or reducing them to their least simple and understandable component.
the tip of the pen felt like second skin.
i tire my ass off, and my right-hand fingers could only twitch when im done. i hope for a glorious result for the English subject, but it turned out rather ludacrious. many was shocked over the outcome.

i remembered when my close friends and teacher said that this was due to the fact that i love attempting stupid shits, despite taking ample time reconsidering before attempting and also a habit of not paying any flying fuck to attention or anyone, and for in this case, the instructions written in the first page of the English paper and the invigilator yapping at the start (what was it that she said? i cant remember). well, maybe thats why i was landed to sec 5 and ended up crappy results. wait, its not crappy. whole thing was bullshit!

i recalled the hour of constant nagging in my room. i hate anyone from my family that enters my room. i was kinda pissed and so where they, severely . it was after i got my results, and my parents was looking for an elusive squabble with me. and for any case if that happens, i'll always win.anyways, then its was like getting real irritating. so i played xbox while they yap, so to me,they were like white noises and buzzes that u hear on an FM radio and when you're in the middle of two radio stations and you turn it real loud.
my dad said: "what the fuck(yea, my dad's cooler than yours) do you wanna do now, huh?"(pokes me with result slip)
and i shrugged, was deeply involved with actions in my xbox, btw: "uh.. i dont know, maybe collect rubbish or do laundry for peoples or who knows, maybe i'll take that bicycle and reconfigure it to a car? i dunno.. mcdonalds pay is $3.50 an hour. well, i can make a great living with that? "
my mother was horrified and said: "dont you even joke about something like that. cut with that art school bullshit, and you need to repeat, and then graduate"then ill be like: "im extremely busy, now get out of my room!"parents exhaled in frustration and turned to leave
"mum?" i said.
she turned back, "What?" she asked, angry and abrupt.
"I want ice Milo."
mother closed the door, nearly a slam.
and momentarily later, returned with a glass of ice cold milo. and resting it on the only clear spot on the table next to me.
many peoples was aghast and shocked (some astonished) with my behaviour towards my parents, and the ability to get my parents to do things for me. i remembered someone( a teacher or someone grown up, i forgot) saying this to me before: "salihin, i understand that you're good at words, but i bet you understand the meaning of the word 'compassionate', right?"and i forgot what i said after that. was trying to remember what i said. it was some bomb-in-your-face comeback. damn it. what was it!
okay shit.. another session of yapping. this time from my sister. im using her lappy. and theres a little difficulty for me to get away with this. btw im done with yadas for today.. would be lookin forward for more of this next week or soon.